We know that all divorces are not cordial. Some couples going through a divorce are very emotional. Parents may be angry, spiteful, guilt-laden or even clingy. But those feelings don’t have to spill over onto your children and your parenting time.
Arizona parents should keep in mind that if they want their children to be healthy and happy, they need to prevent their own emotional feelings from taking over their children’s lives. Here are some tips that parents should remember when going through a controversial divorce.
Don’t put your child in a situation where they have to choose between you and your ex. Children are very sensitive and love both of you. They will not want to hurt either parent’s feelings, and if you put them in this situation, you are setting them up for feelings of guilt one way or the other.
Don’t disrespect the other parent in front of your children. Many parents seem to forget their children are sitting in the back seat when they are disclosing all of their ex’s faults to a friend or relative. Children are silently taking it all in. It may seem like they don’t care, but don’t be fooled by their silence. Imagine yourself sitting there listening to someone trash your mother, father or another loved one in front of you.
Don’t argue with your ex in front of your children. If you and your spouse have conflicts, they should be discussed between the two of you, outside of earshot of your children. Children often pick up on these conflicts and may use them to their own advantage at a later time.
Finally, don’t try to pry information out of your children about your ex’s activities. This puts them in an uncomfortable situation. They will want to please you by telling you what you want to know but may experience strong feelings of guilt later.
Controversial divorces are difficult, but you don’t have to make it difficult on your children if you are determined to follow some of these tips. Your attorney can help you come up with a parenting plan that will work in whatever situation you are in. Just remember to keep your own emotions in check.
